Just Be Yourself

In 2018, in a bar in Hamburg, a professor told me not to do a PhD. Not because he thought I couldn't do it. Quite the opposite; he just didn't think it was me.

At the time, I thought a PhD was what I needed: credentials, credibility, the right to be taken seriously and, if I'm honest, a title. But none of that is the same as actually wanting to spend years doing a PhD.

A few weeks ago, I read Christian O'Connell's 𝘜𝘯𝘴𝘤𝘳𝘪𝘱𝘵: 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘙𝘢𝘥𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘭 𝘈𝘤𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘉𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘠𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧 and posted about it. The book had me reflecting on the things that had influenced the path I've taken.

Christian replied to say how pleased he was that the book had landed that way, because when you put something out into the world, you never really know what impact it's going to have.

That comment reminded me of something he'd done on the radio years ago: encouraging people to get in touch with teachers whose influence had stayed with them, and tell them. I'd done exactly that at the time, and remembered how powerful it had been.

And suddenly I thought of the professor in that Hamburg bar: Niels Van Quaquebeke.

I realised that his advice hadn't really been 'don't do a PhD.' It had been: 'be yourself'. And Niels had been completely correct. Eight years later, I also realised I'd never told him how important that advice had been.

So I did. 

Niels then posted about our conversation, in case the same advice might help someone else. 

Christian didn't know what impact his book — or something he'd said on the radio years earlier — would have on me. Niels didn't know what impact a conversation over a drink eight years ago would have on me. And none of us knows what impact Niels's post might now have on someone else. 

We rarely know which of the things we say will stick. Or for how long. Or what they might eventually prompt someone to do.

And since the whole point is to tell people: thank you Christian O'Connell and Niels Van Quaquebeke, and Charles O'Connor and Matthew Fairless, who were part of the reason Niels and I met in the first place.